Triggers

It's been a while since I wrote on the blog, because of various reasons. Nonetheless, I am back and I am sorry for having been inactive. I hope the messages and experiences I have shared so far are helpful. In this blog I'd like us to look at triggers while in your journey of healing. 

As you go on with your new life and doing everything to get used to it, there will be triggers. These triggers can be through people, places or things. You may see a happy couple being cuddly, holding hands or looking at each other's eyes and that can be enough to bring you to tears (especially in early days during separation). In fact, it is easy to believe that they're doing it to show off or because they see you. 

When one is in pain they become overly sensitive and they expect everyone to be walking on eggshells because of them. Listen, you are the one who is hurting and truth is: there are people out there who are genuinely in love and happy. Do not make the mistake of expecting people to nurse your pain, and don't nurse your pain either. Embrace your season but don't make yourself comfortable over it because you may get stuck. 

Some triggers can be caused by places you have been with your ex or "about to be" ex. You may have created good memories in those places but because you are no longer together, those places may no longer be safe for your emotions. It could even be places you had planned to go for holidays as a family. Be kind to yourself and stay away from those places until you are in a better state.

Other triggers could be caused by a child who may have a personality similar to your ex's. Oooohhhh my my. Careful not to beat up that poor child, truth is they will usually get the worse of you because they just are like the person who has hurt you so badly, a person you no longer want to see or hear from. I've learned that personalities are not copied from parents, even children who didn't grow up with a particular parent they can have their traits.

It may feel like triggers are there to set you back but they're actually there to help you understand what state you are in and also to guide on you on what you still need to work for you to heal. 

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to those around you even when you believe you need kindness the most.