It may be over, but God is not through with you.

The beautiful life you hoped to live forever, being together with your spouse and children "until death do you 'part", is over. You feel as if your world has just crumbled and you want Jesus to come back. Some days you don't want to wake up, take calls or even take a bath. The house feels lonely and empty. This is just part of the journey, it is a phase. You would not be human if you didn't go through something similar to this. 

It is happening because you had committed to the relationship and the person. You never pictured yourself being separated or divorced. If you are like me, maybe you never showed empathy to others who were separated or going through divorce. I judged people who went through divorce. I may not have spoken out loud but deep in my heart I'd be like "how can you love someone and unlove them?" -  lo and behold; it had to happen to me so I can understand and learn from it.

At times it may seem as if everyone is talking about you and your pain. Whenever people look at you, it feels like they see what you are going through. You feel like a failure and disgrace. Maybe some people have told you: "this is a disgrace to our family" or "it is ungodly" or "you are humiliating us". Others are making it about themselves than thinking of you, your emotions and your mental health. 

You may be at your lowest and worst time of your life but note this: God is not through with you yet. Do not try to numb the feelings of negativity and pain through substances (alcohol, drugs etc) you have never taken before. God says "I have plans for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you" - these plans remain intact regardless of your marital status or social standing. They are God's plans not man's. There is no plan B or contingency, the original remains. He does not change his mind. So pick yourself up, chin-up and hold your head high. You Creator's got your back, He knew you before you were formed in your mother's womb. He predestined you and set you apart. 

In Isaiah 54:4 the word of God says: "Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace you will not be humiliated" - it may feel like it or people make it sound like it but God says shame and humiliation are not your portion. Do not give up on life because the relationship is over. There is life after divorce and any sort of pain. Your assignment on earth is big and it is evident in the storms you encounter. You are not over.

2 Corinthians 1:4-5 says "He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God" - there is nothing about your life which surprises God. He knew you'd go through troubles and one of them is this situation. He still wants to shine through you in the midst of it. He wants to help you through it so you can help others. I would not be writing to you if I had not been helped by God. He healed me and now I am able to freely talk to anyone willing to listen and yearning to heal. 

Trust God to walk this journey with you without judging you. He will not make you feel worthless. The lost relationship may be worth your tears and heartache but it is not worth your life. Brighter and better days are ahead.

Tips for coping:

1. Get some exercises.

2. Find a new hobby that will lighten your mood - dancing, swimming.

3. Get enough sleep, you may be on your bed but not sleeping.

4. Consult professional if necessary especially if you fail to fall asleep, losing appetite, lacking interest for anything, having thoughts of suicide or feeling unworthy.   

5. Don't forget to pray. 

You are God's special possession, press on, Heaven is cheering you on.